Democratic Scouting Report

Gas prices are through the roof. There's a war in Iraq. Total chaos has erupted in New Orleans. Add all this to a ruling Republican party and what do you get? Well, you get starry-eyed Democrats flocking to an impending feeding frenzy.

In fact, when I started to write this article last week, Katrina hadn't even made landfall yet, which would have left a prediction piece on which Democrats were going to make a run for the White House in '08 pretty easy. Now, however, they're going to swarm like Starr Jones' family at an "All You Can Eat" buffet. In fact, I'd have to say that no less than 30 Dems are seriously considering forming an exploratory committee to seriously consider running. No I didn't just lose all control of the English language, most politicians "consider considering" before doing anything. It allows them to backpeddle if they find they screwed up. But I digress … here are my five Democratic faces to watch in the next 18 months.

Hillary Clinton. She's such a no-brainer that I shouldn't even have to spell it out. But there are several big hurdles she'll have to get over before making a serious run for the top job. First, there is the mid-term battle she has to face. Granted, the woman she is going up against is, in my opinion, GOP fodder being thrown out there to force Hillary into spending money and making mistakes, but she has to fight none-the-less. If she loses, she's out for '08. Second, she's a woman. While she has most of the Democratic party's support for a senatorial seat, senior Dems are privately nervous about how she'll play in the south, mid-west, and rural western states. Honestly, I hate to break it to all the neo-hippies and super-liberals, but the rest of the country just isn't ready for breasts in the Oval Office unless it involves a blue dress and a few cigars. Which brings us to the third challenge - Bill. While the man was well-liked and even loved in some places, the pendulum has swung back into the conservatives hands. Many equate Bill Clinton with a perceived moral decay in this country and if she does run, you'll bet Bill won't be campaigning in many Red States with her. She'll be a force to be reckoned with, but her chances of winning are slim and for the "Party of the People," it's going to be all about winning.

Joe Biden. How do I know he'll run? Because he actually announced his candidacy four months ago. Personally, I like the guy. I've had the opportunity to meet him a few times. He has always struck me as sincere and his views aren't as liberal as many think. But at the same time, he looks more like a biology teacher I had in high school and less like the leader of the most powerful nation on earth. Very outspoken about the war and often times a spokesman for the party, he'll have some backing and money early on, but it won't be easy for him to overcome his appearance or his tendency to use long, drawn out answers to questions, a la John Kerry.

Wes Clark. Mark my words - Wes Clark will be back. Since his failed attempt at the White House in '04, Clark has continued to head an organization focusing on grassroots political activity and fundraising. It has been behind the scenes, but he is still out there. He'll run again on the "Global War on Terror" and with a life spent in service to the country, he might be the only one that can convince people that sacrifice to the greater good would help with any number of our nations ills. He was rough and unpolished in 2004, but he'll be better prepared and better funded come '08. All of which could easily lead to a win for the former four star.

Mark Warner. Learn the name Mark Warner. Of all the possible Democrats that could run, Warner may very well be the one most likely to take the prize. As Governor of Virginia, he is running a state that is dominated by Republicans and doing it well. In fact, rumors overheard at an undisclosed Irish pub in D.C. indicate that a few of the conservatives in the state would stump on his behalf. Warner forced the state into fiscal responsibility and seems to be overtly moderate. The guy has been making some headlines in smaller circles, but make no mistake, if he starts popping up on the national radar it is a sure sign that he'll be warming up to go 12 rounds with the bigger fish … and he could win.

Reverend Al Sharpton. I know you're all waiting for me to name someone like Kerry, Gore or Edwards. You'd be right with Edwards, but not Kerry or Gore. No, I'm going to play it safe with my final of the five. The Reverend Al Sharpton will be on the trail along with the rest of them. Why? Because he has nothing better to do. There just aren't enough people being run over by "The Man" to keep a champion for equality and justice busy these days. No seriously, I don't know why Sharpton is running. Probably the same reason Jackson ran all those years - although, that reason escapes me now. But if he does run, it only makes the others look that much more credible.

Now, I said there were about a million or so possible candidates for the Democrats. Well, it's a short article and I've got to finish researching my lineup for the fantasy football season. So, I'll leave you with this. Obama is too junior, Kucinich is too loopy, Dean too irrational. In fact, the curse of the Democrats to this day is that when they claim to be the party of inclusion they mean it - and that includes the weak, spineless, and wacky. But from that group just may come the next leader of the free world. Praise God and pass the ammunition.

Brock Tanner does his research for this column in his underwear. He can be found throwing half-full beer cans at the television every time a Fox News Alert plays and its Greta Van Susteren talking about someone "missing." Contact him at brocktanner@hobotrashcan.com.