Hitting the campaign trail early

Wow, who would have thought that three years before the next presidential election, John McCain would be campaigning at full speed? Of course, campaigning this early only occasionally breaks out, is hard to identify if you don't know what you're looking for and can get kind of irritating. Come to think of it, campaigning this early on is a lot like herpes.

So let's stop and take a look at the signs. If you notice little red blisters … no wait, I meant the signs of McCain's campaigning. It actually started over the summer. As one of the only powerful Republican Moderates in, well, the Republican Party, he led the "Gang of 14" in the Senate that negotiated the compromise to avoid the "Frist Nuclear Option" on Bush's judicial nominees. While this move pissed off hard-line conservatives, it was wildly popular among moderates, Democrats and the American population.

He is also making moves within the Senate to get himself the kind of exposure a true contender needs by taking on a cause that people really care about - sports! It has for sometime been a pet project of McCain to establish a National Boxing Commission. Why? Because. No, really, other than it being a pet project, no one can really figure out why he is so interested in this. Obviously, it would raise some money, as people would have to start getting licenses from the federal government. Sure, it would also protect boxers by keeping them from going to states with looser rules on physical requirements to fight. But it would also help eliminate the corruption that is so rampant in boxing by providing federal oversight (because with examples like Frist, DeLay, Bush, Clinton, Brown and Burns to follow, there would never be any corruption with the federal government on the job).

Speaking of cleaning up sports, let's not forget that McCain has spent considerable time and energy getting his face in the pages of SI, ESPN: The Magazine and The Sporting News by attacking the most insidious of all evils to pervade professional sports since the 1919 World Series … STERIODS! Actually, I'm not sure what the big deal is. So a bunch of guys are on the juice? Duh! But with the hurricanes in the Gulf, rising gas prices and a War in Iraq and Afghanistan, is this really the kind of thing we need to worry about? It is if you want to get you're name in the sports media, so that the average "Joe-Six-Pack" has an idea who you are come 2008.

Not that all his work are just little side shows. He recently wrote, and the Senate passed, legislation to prevent prisoner abuse at the hands of U.S. troops. Talk about really pissing off the White House! Of course, this went hand in hand with a very stern congressional hearing regarding the progress of the war in Iraq. So, with Bush's poll numbers at an all time low, it seems that McCain is picking his strategy very carefully for the upcoming campaign. He is going to run as a Democrat … no, wait, that's not it … he is going to run in the middle.

Now this goes against everything Karl Rove did to win Bush two consecutive terms in the Oval Office by ignoring the right-wing base of the GOP. Never fear, however, McCain has a crack political squad that immediately "righted" his course.

Step One? Get Mark McKinnon. Don't recognize that name? Probably because you have a life and I don't. But do you recognize the image of Kerry windsurfing? What about the wolves gathering in the forest to attack the U.S.? McKinnon was the media mastermind behind both of those ads that Bush ran against Kerry in 2004. Mark is well liked in the Republican establishment and is considered a Bush insider. While it may do little to impress the conservative base, the ads that McKinnon produces just might.

Step Two to achieving that steely-eyed GOP Presidential look? Endorse a candidate that is just to the right of John Ashcroft! While the gov. race heats up in Ohio, McCain endorsed the most conservative guy running to help bolster his conservative bona fides. While it is likely to make little difference in the public realm, you can be sure that McCain is holding that as a chip to use when he needs behind-the-scenes support from the party down the road.

Step Three? Do what everyone else is doing. While most of the country watches in awe, Congressional Republicans seem to be flipping the bird at the President by attacking his latest Supreme Court nominee. And believe me, McCain is not going to miss the opportunity to flip "W" the bird. But beyond that, he has appeared on no less than nine different national-televised talk shows in the last week to rail about Harriet Miers.

While all this might not amount to much in the normal day-to-day world of the average American, in the twisted reality of Washinton, D.C., this all point to one thing … McCain in '08. The only thing left to do is visit Iowa and New Hampshire for no obvious reason and you can be sure McCain is a lock to hit the trail. Of course, what do I know? I backed Ross Perot, picked the Red Sox to repeat as champs and think Pabst Blue Ribbon is "a good summer beer."

Brock Tanner does his research for this column in his underwear. He can be found throwing half-full beer cans at the television every time a Fox News Alert plays and its Greta Van Susteren talking about someone "missing." Contact him at brocktanner@hobotrashcan.com.