Just Friends – Sarah

Sarah is a domestic animal trainer at Sea World, Orlando, so she has lots of experience dealing with wild animals, which may explain her friendship with Joel. She collects action figures and metal lunch boxes and spends her free time sleeping, eating junk food, watching crap TV and playing in as many amusement parks as she can. The former dancer says she is very bendy, but she claims to have ugly feet. Of course, we happen to think that she is drop dead gorgeous … and way out of Joel’s league.

1. How long have you and Joel been friends?

Hmmm… I guess a couple of years now.

2. What do you think of him?

He’s a disgusting pervert. I hate him.

2b. No, what do you really think of him?

That is what I really think of him …

3. If Joel gave you a gun with three bullets (and Leonardo DiCaprio was already dead), what three celebrities would you shoot and why?

First I would choose Scarlet Johansen. She litters. Next up, Katie Holmes. What an idiot! I want to punch her in the jaw to straighten her mouth out. Last but not least, Colin Farrell. He’s so dirty. I want to give him a bath.

4. What would be the perfect way to spend a day with Joel (assuming he allows you to hang with him)?

A long walk on the beach and a swim in the ocean … oh, wait. I’m scared of fish and those little thingies that dig in the sand. Um … dinner at a nice restaurant … er, I don’t like eating in restaurants. I’m going to go with eating ice cream and playing video games in our jammies.

5. What are five random words that describe Joel?

Dignified, squishy, metallic, hairy, energetic.

6. Joel just really pissed you off. You have ten seconds to tell him off. What do you say?

I’d just kick him in the nuts.

7. Can Joel borrow five bucks?

Five bucks?!? Please … I’m a poor animal trainer!