Just Friends – Jane
April 8, 2011 Boxcar Betties, Just Friends 1 CommentLong ago, in the early days of HoboTrashcan, there was a monthly feature called Just Friends. Our editor-in-chief, Joel Murphy, heard the phrase “Let’s just be friends” so many times in his life that he decided to feature some of his gorgeous friends in a special monthly feature. However, a friend named Nicole set the bar so high that Just Friends sadly disappeared.
It would take a brave soul to attempt to resurrect this forgotten feature, which is why Joel called in the big guns and recruited a bona fide Internet celebrity. Jane, whose infamous site BathroomAdventures has earned her legions of adoring fans, was willing to take a few moments out of her rock star life to declare her everlasting platonic friendship for Joel. So today we bring you the lovely Jane, who considers Joel one of the proud inhabitants of her “friend zone.”
Name: Jane from BathroomAdventures
Age: All of 41
Sign: Commode
         
|
1. How long have you and Joel been friends?
Ha! Define friends???? Hahaha! Lets see … since about 1845, I think!
2. What do you think of him?
“He will do.”
2b. No, what do you really think of him?
I think he is utterly persistent and dangerously charming. Did I mention patient? Wow, is he ever …
3. If Joel gave you a gun with three bullets (and Leonardo DiCaprio was already dead), what three celebrities would you shoot and why?
Please … as if this girl would use a gun! I prefer the warmth of a lovely laser-eyed pussycat! Purrrrrr-Zip-BANG! Lets see … I think I might have to turn that crazy-eyed pussy on the likes of people like Nazis, zombies and Mama Fratelli.
4. What would be the perfect way to spend a day with Joel (assuming he allows you to hang with him)?
Hummm! I would LOAD HIM DOWN with ART to counterbalance all those CRAP SPORTS he WATCHES! Museums, galleries, public sculpture gardens, take him to bookstores to look at books and magazines full of art, and then we could come home to my place and we could watch a lovely indi-art flick? Or a great documentary on Art! HA! Suck it hard, sports!
5. What are five random words that describe you?
Slippery, cheeky, creative, passionate, lovely
6. Joel just really pissed you off. You have ten seconds to tell him off. What do you say?
HA! I don’t have to say a single word, the sheer look of disappointment in my face alone is enough to make him beg for my forgiveness … right, Tiger? (SQUASHES HIM LIKE A BUG!!!!)
7. Have you heard any good jokes lately?
Yes! How about this little gem?
A man walks into a talent agent’s office, and says, “We’re a family act, and we’d like you to represent us.”
The agent says, “Sorry, I don’t represent family acts. They’re a little too old-fashioned.”
The man says, “But this is really special.”
The agent says, “Okay, well what’s the act?”
He replies, “Well, my wife and I come out on stage and she begins to sing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ while I take her roughly from behind. After a minute of this, my kids come out and begin to do the same, but my daughter’s singing the original ‘To Anacreon in Heaven’ lyrics while my son performs anal sex on her.”
The agent looks uncomfortable, but the man continues, “Just when my daughter hits the highest note in the song, my son and I switch partners. He turns my wife around and gives her a Dirty Sanchez before having her perform oral sex on him. When the song’s over and we’re both getting close, we all stop and lie down on the stage.”
The man smiles fondly as he recalls, “This is the best part: our dog then comes out on the stage, and he’s trained to lick each one of us to orgasm in turn. He just goes right down the line, looking as happy as can be! We all get up and take a bow.”
He looks at the agent and says, “Well, that’s the act. What do you think?”
The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?”
“The Aristocrats!”
(GO BIG OR GO HOME … right, Joel?)
8. Can Joel borrow five bucks?
After that joke, this interview and the photos? I think he owes me … xox
To order your own “Hobo Stew” t-shirt like the one Jane has on, click here. You can see more Just Friends photos here and more of Jane’s photos here. Click on a photo to enlarge it or click here to start a slideshow.
Similar Posts:
- Just Friends – Nicole 2010
- Just Friends – Karen
- Just Friends – Karli
- Just Friends – Nicole
- Just Friends – Karyn
