To Wii, or not to Wii

Around the time that the original Mortal Kombat game was sweeping the nation, people with too much time on their hands began wondering if video games were too violent and wondered what effect this was having on our impressionable youth. Then, when the rash of school shootings began, video games were blamed as one of the causes because the culprits (and millions of other kids who didn't shoot up their schools) reportedly played Doom.

In case you couldn't pick up on it in the first paragraph, let me just say for the record - I think that logic is a bunch of crap. Perhaps video games and television expose kids to excess violence, but that doesn't mean video games turn people into killers. If a kid has good parents and other adults helping to show him the way, he can shoot aliens in Doom and drag people out of cars in GTA until his thumbs are sore and never feel the urge to kill someone in real life. I simply refuse to believe that video games are dangerous ... well, until now.

You see, a new video game console has come along and it has caused me to reevaluate things. Suddenly, I'm not so sure that video games aren't dangerous - not after seeing the carnage caused by the Nintendo Wii.

The Nintendo Wii features a revolutionary controller that let's you simulate the actions of your onscreen counterpart. So, unlike other video game consoles where you simply mash buttons to play, the Wii forces you to actually get up and move around to make your character bowl, swing a golf club or fire at a bad guy. So, of course, when the Wii first came out around Christmastime, stories began circulating about children who got a little overzealous and ended up losing their grip on their controller, taking out a lamp, a window or their television screen in the process. Sites, such as WiiDamage.com, began springing up with photos documenting the destruction.

However, that's not so bad. I can live with the occasional property damage caused by an uncoordinated child. Lord knows our kids are getting fatter and fatter each year, so any excuse to get them up and moving around is a good one. But unfortunately, this month things got worse. It seems that someone actually died because of the Nintendo Wii.

Don't worry, she wasn't killed by a controller. No, Jennifer Strange of Rancho Cordova, California died of water intoxication. She was competing in a radio station contest called "Hold Your Wee for a Wii." The premise was simple - contestants were handed eight-ounce bottles of water to drink every 15 minutes; whoever could hold out the longest without going to the bathroom won. Strange reportedly drank over a half gallon of water. Strange went back to work, where she complained of a headache, then died later that day.

In the wake of her death, 10 station employees were fired, including the three morning disc jockeys who held the contest. And apparently, police in Sacramento, California are looking into criminal charges after word came out that callers warned the DJs about the dangers of water intoxication before the contest began. The DJs laughed off the warnings.

Strange's death is a tragedy and in no way do I want to make light of it. But I can't help but feel that the Nintendo Wii is to blame for this incident. Perhaps the system is cursed. Or perhaps the name Wii is so stupid that it is to blame for all of this - after all, if Nintendo had come up with a cooler name for the system, the Sacramento DJs never would have gotten the idea to do a "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest.

So maybe there is something to the logic that video games cause violence. However, I'm not ready to jump on the bandwagon just yet. Instead, I think I'll just avoid the Wii altogether and stick with the Xbox 360. There is this great game for it called Gears of War where you can actually take people out with a chainsaw. It's so violent and fun.

Random thought of the week:
Michael Vick was busted at an airport for reportedly stashing a bag of pot in a secret compartment in a 20 ounce bottle of water. Vick was caught because you aren't allowed to carry more than three ounces of water through security checkpoints. Oh Ron Mexico, when will you ever learn?

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He also has some really hot friends. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.