Fantasy Island vs. the Holodeck

As the writer's strike drags on, my wife and I have to get creative to stay entertained. With more than 100 channels, that usually isn't a problem. One night, we were stumped though.

We have had On Demand for a while, but almost never use it. I really don't know why. The system does lag a little and it can be a pain in the ass to surf some of the menus, but it's free movies and shows so I should be really excited. While she got ready for bed, I tried to find something on there that we could watch. Lo and behold, a special treat appeared before my eyes.

Fantasy Island.

I remember Saturday nights growing up when I could stay all the way up to 11 - I can't even make it that late sometimes now but that's a different story - to watch Love Boat and Fantasy Island. We decided to re-live a little of that as we settled in to see what Mr. Rourke had up his sleeve.

But as the show unfolded and beauty queens chased Don Knotts and Mrs. Brady tried to escape an evil stalker, I couldn't stop thinking about one of those age-old arguments that we will probably never definitively answer.

Would you rather visit Fantasy Island or the Holodeck on Star Trek: The Next Generation?

Now before you think I'm sort of sci-fi geek who will explain his reasoning in a little-used dialect of Klingon, fear not. I'm a geek, but not that big of a geek. In fact, Next Generation is the only Star Trek I have ever watched because my wife used to watch it. It's always easy to blame the wife.

I watched grudgingly, but found myself fascinated by the Holodeck. I loved thinking there was a place you could create an alternative reality to search for life's innermost secrets. And to see if hot chicks would actually give you the time of day without risking real embarrassment.

Not only that, you could put yourself in the middle of any situation you wanted, for however long you wanted, just for the hell of it.

Or you could go to a tropical island with real people and real fruity drinks and a real midget with a thick accent and live out your one true fantasy.

That's a tough choice.

Fantasy Island will give you the opportunity to go through a scenario you have always dreamed about with real people, mostly former sitcom and easy listening stars if I remember the usual guest list correctly. In the Holodeck, I could create Vicki Lawrence and Eva Gabor, but Fantasy Island would bring the real deal to me.

Not that I'm into Vicki Lawrence and Eva Gabor or anything like that. It's just an example.

While I would have real actual people on Fantasy Island - and that rascal Tattoo - I would only get to live out one fantasy. Mr. Rourke runs a pretty tight ship. I don't think he can switch from "I want to see if that hot blonde will actually show an interest in me" to "Take me back to that time that chick blew me off in college because I just thought of a good comeback."

The Holodeck can do that. I can switch from situation to situation as often as I like, which is prefect for my ADD-addled brain. I'd probably fry the circuits in the long run changing back and forth so often, but that would be Mr. Laforge's problem, not mine.

I really don't know which way to go. I don't think this ranks up there with great TV arguments like "Would you do Jennifer or Bailey?" and "Don't you want to strangle the person who came up with that commercial?"

But I still think this get can people talking. The Holodeck or Fantasy Island argument can give us a window into people's souls. Do you want to create lots of different realities or just give one a try so you can get a chance to meet Tattoo?

That might be where things get interesting. I doubt the Holodeck version of Tattoo is as fun as the real thing.

I'm going to need a while to make a decision on this.

Brian Shea is probably enjoying a beer in his basement right now. You can contact him at columns@regularguycolumn.com.