Man cave

When I first started fixing up my basement a couple of years ago, I thought I came up with an original concept. My wife called my little refuge a "man cave." I thought it was clever.

Apparently, so did everyone else.

I don't know why I would ever think that no one else came up with the same idea. Now I have heard the term a whole bunch of different places, including a TV show on the DIY network.

I never would have even known such a channel existed if they hadn't broadcast Man Caves, which features a carpenter and former NFL player Tony Siragusa showing guys how they can better utilize space to drink beer, smoke cigars and basically make themselves completely useless to the running of the household.

The show speaks to me in so many ways. It also gives me hope that I can eventually finish the project I started.

When I took on the task, I just wanted to waterproof the walls to stop the inevitable leaks that came with the heavy rain. Getting me to paint anything can require some serious effort so the fact that I did it on my own and completed much of the work was pretty admirable.

The basement still leaks, but we knew we would never solve the problem without a real construction project. The problem isn't as bad as it was before, at least on the side of the basement I painted completely. That also happens to be the side where I have my recliner, TV and other fun things.

The leaks do get bad enough sometimes to threaten that part of the room. That - along with the nagging feeling that my wife is mad that I haven't finished the part with the washer and dryer - will probably get me off my ass eventually to finish the waterproofing.

Watching the TV show has given me lots of ideas. I have watched guys who have just a little interest and skill in home improvement build tables and entertainment centers and bars. So I searched all over the site for information on how to get Siragusa and the rest of the gang to come to my house and do the work for me. Sure, I would have to help, but I would have someone who knows what they are doing supervising. And I'd probably get some pretty good stuff for free.

They don't have too many requirements. You just need to fill out a form with what you want in your man cave and why you need it so badly. I don't have a horribly tragic story or anything like that. I just like a place to play video games, watch sports and have a few beers. I should be the perfect candidate, right?

Wrong. They are only filming in New Jersey. That's a bunch of crap. I know the production company is located up there, but why do the guys in Jersey deserve free work done on their man cave more than those of us in other states? It's pure discrimination, I tell you.

When I watch the show, graphics keep popping up saying that you can find plans for these kind of projects on the network's web site. Do they really think that if I haven't found the impetus to paint, I'll download plans for a bar and build it by myself in the basement? I have a reputation to uphold.

If I set out to try and do all the things needed to have a proper man cave, I would be too old to enjoy it by the time I finished. Not to mention too tired, too sore and probably lacking a few fingers. They use some pretty big-ass saws in the show.

I have a big bucket of the waterproofing paint sitting in the corner of the basement. And my wife and I could probably make another attempt at creating a "moat," which will direct the water that does leak in away from the important areas of the basement. She did it last year, but it didn't work so well. Considering she's the handy one in the family, I don't have much hope that I can do much better.

Or I could just appreciate what I have. The dart board doesn't fall from the wall. I can see the TV from the crapper on the other side of the room. Because the place isn't finished, I don't have to worry about stray beer bottle caps or peanut shells too much. If I don't leave well enough alone, my wife might come down and tell me I have to clean the place. That wouldn't be good for anyone.

Brian Shea is probably enjoying a beer in his basement right now. You can contact him at columns@regularguycolumn.com.